By Soh Ying Qi (18A01C)

The Word of Mouth search bar. Always handy, always helpful, (nearly) always reliable. But behind the scenes, what our readers key into it is a different story. Here are some of this term’s very best queries, taken from your collective search history.

(Vol. 1 | Vol. 3)

Note: Queries posted here are completely unedited, unless otherwise stated.

1. Nope, Still Not Google

We don’t want to labour the point—but we regret to inform you (again) that despite high hopes from many fervent readers, our search bar has not, in fact, gained the ability to index the web. But as with most other things, there’s no harm in trying.

• “lady ghostbuster with vacuum” – Jan 2018
• “reputable dog breeders singapore” – Jan 2018
• “which jc offer what subject” – Feb 2018
• “2001 space odyssey spaceship” – Feb 2018
• “bb officer uniform” – Feb 2018
• “is starbucks open on public holidays” – Feb 2018
• “far east plaza prom dress” – Feb 2018
• “white horse bmt” – Feb 2018
• “nex library programme zone” – Feb 2018
• “psc early provisional scholarship” – Feb 2018
• “first aid post east coast park” – Feb 2018
• “bugis library which level to study” – Mar 2018
• “how to get president scholarship interview” – Mar 2018

2. Asking the Real Questions

While our search bar can’t respond to your questions directly, some readers were undeterred in their hunt for answers. All we can say is: it took a couple of months, but at least they’ll finally get some.

• “michael rollason of [redacted address] … is he still alive ??” – Jan 2018 (Yes, dear reader, he very much is!)
• “how do ri students do it” – Jan 2018 (We’ll admit, we don’t have an answer for this. We’re still trying to figure it out ourselves.)
• “is raffles diploma important” – Jan 2018
• “why orientation groups in jc” – Feb 2018
• “is there a difference in raffles pe pants” – Feb 2018 (We’re pretty sure we’ve never manufactured PE pants, but we can point you to our uniform guide.)

3. The “Journal” in “Journalism” Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means

We try our hardest to help you make good academic decisions—but even we have to admit that as a simple student newspaper, we can only help you along so much. (We can, however, direct you to our profile of the creators of Tick, a notes-sharing resource.) Still, that didn’t prevent the following pleas for academic assistance.

• “singapore maths olympiad notes by raffles” – Feb 2018
• “chemistry olympiad notes by raffles wiki” – Feb 2018
• “chemistry olympiad training notes” – Feb 2018
• “2017 singapore cambridge gce a level further mathematics question papers” – Feb 2018
• “ki essays” – Feb 2018 (Try the KS Bull over at Ivy, accessible through the GoTo portal.)
• “hand written phy notes pic” – Feb 2018
• “biology handwritten notes” – Feb 2018

4. “Should Not Be Used As a Substitute for Formal Academic Counselling”

There’s a standard disclaimer on most of our articles about academic opportunities—the following readers might find it more worthwhile to talk to a Dean about their questions.

• “can i study medicine if my subject combi is physics chem” – Jan 2018
• “can i be a year head” – Jan 2018 (Chase your dreams!)
• “why pcme is popular” – Jan 2018
• “if i dun take literature in secondary school can i take in jc” – Feb 2018
• “can science jc take mep” – Feb 2018
• “when can you drop from a h2 to a h1” – Feb 2018
• “is h3 in jc worth it” – Mar 2018 (Asking this question two weeks into official lessons is probably not the best idea, to say the least.)

5. Are You Even Attending the Right School?

While RI certainly offers a wide range of subjects, it isn’t quite as large as some may think.

• “what do i need to study first for h1 history” – Jan 2018 (RI doesn’t offer H1 History.)
• “should i take china studies in english” – Jan 2018 (Neither does it offer H2 CSE.)
• “h2 gp essays” – Feb 2018 (Pretty sure this person is living in the darkest timeline: one where GP is a H2 subject.)
• “which pure science o level is most content heavy” – Feb 2018

6. She Doesn’t Even Go Here! (Part 2)

In fact, we receive more queries than we might expect that are entirely about other schools. Once again, we implore you, kind reader, to take a look at our About Us page before submitting queries. While these are all fine institutions, we, unfortunately, are still just RI.

• “victoria school o level results breakdown” – Jan 2018
• “jjc prom queens” – Jan 2018
• “nus oam” – Jan 2018
• “drop off at sji school morning” – Jan 2018
• “rgs pe shorts” – Jan 2018
• “reddit eunoia jc” – Feb 2018
• “nus medicine is like” – Feb 2018
• “nus medicine admission rate” – Feb 2018
• “nus chemistry” – Feb 2018
• “gap year at washu” – Feb 2018
• “victoria junior college a level results 2016” – Feb 2018
• “outram secondary school” – Feb 2018
• “hci a level result 2018” – Feb 2018
• “national junior college gp results 2017” – Feb 2018
• “vjc a level result 2018” – Feb 2018 (For all things VJC, The Victorian Press is your best bet.)
• “hci a level results 2017” – Mar 2018
• “hwa chong contract bridge” – Mar 2018
• “nyjc touch rugby” – Mar 2018

7. All You Need is Love

Or so most people believe—but some, like these readers, needed some convincing.

• “finding a girlfriend in singapore ri” – Jan 2018 (For the record, this was queried on the first day of JIP. Making your move can’t get faster than this!)
• “boy girl relationship in jc” – Jan 2018
• “how to have boyfriend in jc” – Feb 2018 (Some students had other things on their mind on the first day of Orientation.)
• “what is it like dating in jc” – Feb 2018 (By the middle of Orientation, it was clear the infatuation hadn’t subsided.)
• “dating in junior college” – Feb 2018 (In more than one person, at least.)
• “should you have a relationship in jc” – Feb 2018
• “somebody (single pringle)” – Feb 2018
• “jc relationships” – Feb 2018

8. Type-O Personality

Somehow, we feel like you were going for something else.

• “lauber of material project work” – Jan 2018
• “chaniairport name untern” – Jan 2018
• “bibibaba sch shiry sizing” – Jan 2018
• “taakin triple science subject combination” – Jan 2018
• “higher chinses chinese d7 needs to take h1 chinese?” – Jan 2018
• “liho disappoijt” – Jan 2018 (We’re sure our reviewers would agree.)
• “raffles society of boological science” – Feb 2018 (What a scary CCA that would be!)
• “how to get a distinction in raffles diploa” – Feb 2018
• “why usinh retard is wrong raffles press” – Feb 2018 (Here’s one answer.)
• “school forewell party handover resposibility” – Feb 2018
• “project work grade 11 popultion” – Feb 2018
• “2013 a level results rsffles onstitition” – Feb 2018
• “a level results 2018 is d a psss” – Feb 2018
• “project eotk in a level is tge ssne as general paper in a level?” – Feb 2018 (Assuming we’ve interpreted this correctly: No, it’s not.)
• “higher chinese quivelent to h1 chinese” – Mar 2018

9. ????

• “gandu magu hutalu hege sex madabeku” – Jan 2018
• “bulbul bird facts” – Jan 2018
• “the image of a little-bride dress in a interhouse sports” – Feb 2018
• “brown ratty menu” – Feb 2018
• “7letters of mouth structure” – Feb 2018
• “bacon press” – Feb 2018

Honourable Mention

• In the Spirit of International Women’s Day…
  • “reasons why women should join national seevice” – Jan 2018
  • “why girls should serve ns” – Jan 2018
  • “gender equality in ns” – Jan 2018
  • “male singaporeans responsibility for ns” – Jan 2018
  • “should girls serve ns” – Jan 2018
  • “advantages and disadvantages of female serving ns” – Jan 2018
  • “should national service be made compulsory for females” – Feb 2018
  • “speech on why national services are only males” – Feb 2018
  • “should singapore females serve ns” – Feb 2018 (Some of our writers seem to think so.)
• ‘Twas the Night Before A-Levels Results Release…
  • “a level results 2017”
  • “rjc a level results 2017”
  • “a level project work results release” (Patience, dear reader—the wait will be over soon.)
  • “a level results 2017 90rp”
  • “a level results 2017 petcentage 5 as”
  • “all a 2017 a level %”
  • “raffles jc 2017 a level”
  • “6 distinctions a levels”
  • “ri a level results 2017”
  • “raffles a level”
  • “do h2subject have distinction” (Yes, they do!)
  • “raffles jc number of pupils scoring above 88 uas?”
  • “how many students score four a for a levels” (Read our coverage of the 2018 results release for more details.)