Category: April Fool’s

Breaking News: Press Sued

By Faith Ho (22A01A) and Shermaine Lim (22S03N)

It is with deepest sorrow that Raffles Press is announcing that we have been recently involved in a lawsuit with a company that we are unable to name as of now.

We have outlined the chronology of events in this article, as we want to be fully transparent and accountable to our readers. We hope that you can support us through this difficult time. 

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We’re Going to Build a Wall…

By Koo ii (21S05A)

And no, it’s not the one you’re thinking about.

Press will be putting up a paywall on Word of Mouth. For the uninitiated, a paywall is a setting on a website that only permits viewers who have paid for a subscription to view its contents. (For the even more uninitiated, Word of Mouth is Raffles Press’ online news publication, the website this article is published on.)

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Canteen Food Prices to Rise in the Coming Month

By Tay Jing Xuan (20S03C) and Jerome Tay (20S06Q)

Readers have good reason to be excited about this coming National Day, with it having begun to unravel itself in ways unlike its predecessors. If you are pondering over prospective gifts to present the nation with, fret no longer. The Executive Committee of the canteen has come up with an ingenious idea to help all ye faithful patriots.

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BREAKING: Waffle Press Acquires Raffles Press

In a move almost worthy of an April Fools’ maneuver, Waffle Press announced its acquisition of its officially-sanctioned counterpart, Raffles Press. In a smugly-worded email to Raffles Press’ Head of Monitoring Waffle Press, Waffle Press announced that it will have 95% ownership of Raffles Press with effect from Monday.

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Cat Cafe in RI?

We refer to our article dated 1/4/2015 titled “Cat Cafe To Open in Raffles Institution”. Observant readers would have noticed that the article was published on the 1st of April, known to most as April Fool’s Day, and contained certain questionable claims such as a tuna wrap being the main dish in a cat café. However, it appears that some members of the public have taken this to heart.

We are delighted that our attempt to provide entertainment to our readers has been so terribly effective.

Happy Wednesday.

Our best wishes,
Press Editorial Team (PET)

QOTD: “Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.”- Michel de Montaigne