Humour

April Fool's, Commentary, Humour, School Life

BREAKING NEWS: RI’s Largest-Ever Homeroom Reshuffle
Reading Time: 2 minutes

By Arissa Binte Kamaruzaman (24A01A), Camillia Anum Mohamad Ashraff (24S03B), Dang Tran Minh Phuong (24A01A), Vera Heng (24S03R)

There’s a price tag on everything. For RI’s upcoming major renovations and installations, the price tag is significantly heftier: a rotational displacement of classes. 

The constant droning of equipment within the school grounds should have signalled to everyone that renovations are underway in several parts of the school. From Block A to Block J, this process is a large-scale one that will spill over from the holidays and affect the daily lives of Rafflesians.

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Humour, School Life

Grad Night ‘22: Fairy Godmother’s Rescue to a Fashion Emergency
Reading Time: 8 minutes

By Azzahra Osman (22S03P) and Ting Kaily (22S03P)

Your last paper has just ended, and in the heat of studying for As, you completely forgot that you need to find an outfit for the upcoming Grad Night. Fret not, as we fashion gurus here at Raffles Press are here to help! You may have struggled to find answers to half of your Mathematics paper just like us, but you’re likely to have a solution to your fashion dilemmas once you read our suggestions.

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Humour, School Life

Don’t Test Me
Reading Time: 3 minutes

By Johnathan Lim Yang Kai (23S03M)

A guide to staying positive while testing positive.

As the former President of the United States, Donald Trump once said, “If we stop testing, we’d have fewer (reported) cases.”

Personally, I love the intuitive logic of that statement. After all, what happens if we want to be responsible and test for COVID-19? We run the risk of testing positive! 

And what if you test COVID-19 positive? Chaos ensues.

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April Fool's, Commentary, Humour, School Life

BREAKING NEWS: Teddy to Be Given Away
Reading Time: 3 minutes

By Tay Yu Ning (23S06E), Noh Sangeun (23S06Q)

THE END OF AN ERA: It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that Raffles Press announces our beloved cat, Teddy, will be forced to vacate the school premises.

The Ministry of Education (MOE)’s Guidelines for Schools state that “any unauthorised animals on school premises should be evicted for the health and safety of the school population”. 

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