Humour

No More Fooling Around For Raffles Press

Reading Time: 2 minutes

By Mr Patrick Wong (Teacher IC, Raffles Press)

I wish I could say that this is an April Fool’s gag, but sadly it’s not.

The fact that you’re not seeing a Press student’s name in the byline tells the whole story: Raffles Press is no longer allowed to publish our annual tongue-in-cheek piece due to intense negative feedback about past 1 April pranks we’ve pulled.

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A Roller Coaster of Emotions: The Best USS Roller Coasters for the Faint-Hearted

Reading Time: 7 minutes

By Camillia Anum Mohamad Ashraff (24S03B)

Most roller coaster reviews would tell you if a coaster isn’t for the faint of heart.

This roller coaster review will do exactly the opposite—it’s made specifically for our more anxious counterparts.

I’ve never been a fan of roller coasters. I purposefully avoid amusement parks because I think they won’t be worth the price without the thrill-seeking rides. In fact, the last time I went to Universal Studios Singapore (USS) was at least 7 years ago.

And yet, I somehow found myself in USS 7 years later, facing the steep drops and high speeds that nightmares are made of.

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Valentine’s Gifts: Rate Your Level of Rizz

Reading Time: < 1 minute

By Camillia Anum Mohamad Ashraff (24S03B), Chia Kei Yin (24S03C), Iman Talia (24S03E) and Syaura Nashwa (24S03R)

In lieu of Valentine’s Day, Raffles Press has sought out honest perspectives about what’s on everyone’s minds: gift-giving. Here, 4 pairs of friends rate some conventional gifts that most would give their loved ones—along with some oddballs thrown in. So sit back, listen closely and take notes to impress a loved one next Valentine’s Day.

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Goodbye, Old Friend: A Farewell to Teddy, Our Beloved Kitty

Reading Time: 4 minutes

By Darren Wong (24S03C), Iman Talia (24S03E) and Michelle Lee (24A01A)
With special thanks to @rafflesteddy admins

Raffles Institution has no shortage of official icons — like the Gryphon in our school crest who is also affectionately known as Griffles — which every Rafflesian has merchandise of. Even so, one mascot, though unofficial, has surpassed all others in terms of fame, popularity and fluffiness. 

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The Art of Soft Launching

Reading Time: 4 minutes

By Camillia Anum Mohamad Ashraff (24S03B)

Two plates. Matching bracelets. Mysterious arms and/or elbows.

These are all key characteristics of the practice everyone knows and loves (or hates): soft launching. For the uninitiated, a “soft launch” is essentially an ambiguous post that is meant to hint at a romantic relationship.

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