By Mr Patrick Wong (Teacher IC, Raffles Press)
I wish I could say that this is an April Fool’s gag, but sadly it’s not.
The fact that you’re not seeing a Press student’s name in the byline tells the whole story: Raffles Press is no longer allowed to publish our annual tongue-in-cheek piece due to intense negative feedback about past 1 April pranks we’ve pulled.
The fur really started flying two years ago. Despite obvious clues that we were kittying kidding in our piece about our much beloved then-school cat Teddy being given away (e.g. quoting students named “Catalina Mao” and “Paw Koo Chin”), many readers responded with feral feline-like fury when the joke was revealed.
For weeks, the two writers were treated as persona non grata (“non cata”, more like) by Teddy-mad peers and teachers alike. (Hah! But the writers’ joke actually turned out to be a prediction that their critics could not foresee – vindication!)
A similarly witty effort in 2020 also drew much ire. Playing on the words of a certain US presidential candidate (he’s baaaack!), our “We’re going to build a wall…” piece about putting up a paywall to charge a subscription fee for Press content got many readers orangey-red in the face (like you-know-who). We were sure referencing Trump would signal that we were spreading fake news, but…
Maybe that’s why many irate readers were so happy to read on 1 April 2021 that Press was being sued by an “unnamed” company for compensation in the form of “52 bubble teas (KOI, 120% sugar, with pearls)”. Once more, when the hoax was revealed, some Rafflesians really wanted to sue us… but it’s not our fault that such April Fools really exist (note the article’s date, people).
But things really reached a boil last 1 April, when our latest – and, alas, last – gag about RI’s largest homeroom reshuffle caused such concern that students and anxious parents alike inundated the school management with protests of “We shall not be moved!”. It didn’t matter that it was obviously a joke – Raffles Press was adjudged to have gone too far (yes, even beyond Raja Block).
So it is with a heavy heart that I am now shutting down this amusing annual tradition which highlights that Rafflesians aren’t just “muggers” – that we can and do have a funny side.
Still, in the jocular spirit of April Fool’s, let’s close this chapter on a happy note. Raffles Press will be giving away a limited edition Teddy plushie (hand-sewn by the two Y7s behind the 2022 prank) to one lucky student who votes for their favourite Press April Fool’s story, all accessible here: https://rafflespress.com/category/school-life/humour/april-fools/
Do place your vote by 31 April 2024 here: tinyurl.com/bestaprilfool. To check the results of all the votes, check out the scoreboard here: tinyurl.com/aprilfoolsscoreboard.
Here’s to our last laugh!
