By Choo Zi Xuan (25S03E) and Julian Low (25S06A)

Your resident Aunties and Uncles are back with our Ask Aunt Agony and Uncle Upset column, this time as a collaboration between Raffles Press and Peer Helpers’ Programme (PHP)! Ever wanted to rant about that someone you just can’t stand? Overwhelmed with too many feelings? Submit your confessions to https://tinyurl.com/RIAAUU and we’ll give them our best shot. This column will be published at the end of every month.

Dear Danny,

Promo season can feel like a stormy sea, with waves of pressure crashing over you and currents of anxiety pulling you under. Just when you think you’ve finally anchored yourself after completing all of your exams, you receive your results. A surge of disappointment washes over you when the numbers on your papers do not reflect your expectations. 

Such a situation is a reflection of many when Promo results are released. After all, this is the first major exam in your two years of JC life—a checkpoint that can set the tone for the (objectively more important) year ahead. The weight of your results may feel much, much heavier than it truly is. 

It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed after putting in so much effort, only to receive results that don’t reflect your hard work. If your grades have left you feeling disappointed, do remember that you’re not alone in this! Here are some ways that you can bounce back from this and become an academic weapon next year.

Take time to process your emotions. 

It is important to take a step back and express your feelings. Allow yourself to acknowledge your emotions, be it frustration, disappointment, or anything else. Doing so is the first step towards processing them effectively.

Self-reflection can be helpful. An example of how to do this would be through journaling and writing down your thoughts. Having an outlet in the heat of the moment, and then revisiting it once you’ve calmed down, can be incredibly therapeutic. This allows you to read through your thoughts physically instead of them remaining all jumbled up in your head.

Another option is to engage in physical activity to clear your mind. Physical activity stimulates the production of endorphins, which can significantly boost your mood. Exercise can serve as a refreshing mental break, as well as help you step back from the disappointment of your results.

Be kind to yourself, and remember that grades do not define your self-worth. It may be easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism, but try to treat yourself as you would a friend in the same situation. Instead of solely focusing on your grades, do recognise your efforts and remind yourself that growth comes from facing setbacks as well. 

Focus on other aspects of yourself.

While it is easy to remember that “grades don’t define you”, it is much easier said than done. Realise that you are more than the sum of your parts. Your identity is not just defined by the amount of work you put into your academics, or by the numerical results you get. There is more to life than that!

Given that the exams are over, now is the best time to invest time into things that you’ve always wanted to do. Talk to your friends, start a workout routine, learn a new instrument. While these may seem like fruitless endeavors at first glance, we assure you that they are a fulfilling and meaningful way to spend your holidays.

After all, it is really the intangible things in life (like your relationships and memories) that you will cherish after your JC days. Even during the school year, balancing your academics and hobbies is great for your mental health. Avoid the trap of comparison and focus on what you want to do.

We get that it’s difficult though—the academic life in RI can be suffocating, and it can be hard to get over a bout of bad results, especially in a major exam like the promos. Sometimes you might feel like there really isn’t time to do anything else. Ultimately, there are still lectures and tutorials even after promos. If you’re struggling with this, then it’s a great time to…

Talk it out (with a friend or a trusted adult).

Sometimes, it helps to have a listening ear. Whether it’s a close friend, family member or teacher, sharing your thoughts and feelings can provide comfort and an alternate perspective. Validating your emotions through conversation can help you feel more understood and less alone during this period of time.

Talking it out allows you to articulate what you’re experiencing, which can lighten your emotional load. Furthermore, they may be able to put your thoughts in a different light and help you see what went wrong, which then allows you to identify specific areas to improve on and therefore move forward. This makes coping with disappointment more manageable, and empowers you to take steps toward preparing for the next year.

If you wish to, you can also choose to talk to a peer helper or counselor at RGC—they are always open and willing to help out!

Thoroughly review your mistakes.

As they say, “failure is the mother of success”—for you to achieve your goals, you must first be aware of the reasons for your setbacks. To move on from your results, it is essential to look back on the past year and identify areas of improvement. This allows you to work on said areas, and adjust any habits formed as you move on. 

Take the time to reflect on your performance in the exams: did you face any challenges in your time management? Or was it a lack of understanding of certain concepts? After identifying these problems, take the upcoming school holidays as an opportunity to work on them and build up a comfortable pace to get back into studying. 

It’s also important to seek feedback from your teachers—they can help clear up any misconceptions you have about a subject, as well as provide guidance on how to improve.

Set SMART goals.

Having a target to work towards can provide a sense of direction in your studies, making it easier to stay focused and organised as you move on. A good start would be to set Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-based (SMART) goals. 

This ensures that your goals are clear and attainable, which helps you feel less overwhelmed. An example of this would be: “I want to improve my Math grade from a C to a B by the next exam. I aim to complete five practice questions for [insert topic] every day.” 

By using the SMART framework, you create small targets to work towards in the short run, eventually building up to the larger, long-term goals. Each small success will boost your confidence, keeping you motivated as you move on.

Amidst this turbulent period, it’s easy to feel adrift, but remember that this too, shall pass. Promos is not the end— it is only one step of the journey to the A levels. By taking these five steps, we hope that you will be able to come to terms with your results and move on!

All the best!

Sincerely,

Aunt Agony and Uncle Upset

If you need anyone to talk to about any issues you might be facing, do drop by My Rest Space near Marymount gate and talk to one of our peer helpers! We’re open on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 3 – 5 p.m., and Wednesday 11.00 a.m. – 1.00 p.m. If you would like to meet a peer helper on a regular basis, do email us a request at rafflesinstitutionphp@gmail.com or fill in our request form at our website: https://rafflesinstitution5.wixsite.com/rafflespeerhelpers