By Jermaine Lee (24A01A) and Claudia Lim (24S03B, Peer Helper)
Your resident Aunties and Uncles are back with our Ask Aunt Agony and Uncle Upset column, this time as a collaboration between Raffles Press and Peer Helpers’ Programme (PHP)! Ever wanted to rant about that someone you just can’t stand? Overwhelmed with too many feelings? Submit your confessions to https://tinyurl.com/RIAAUU and we’ll give them our best shot. This column will be published at the end of every month.
“My grades are horrendous—how do I adopt a positive mindset?”
Worried Walter
Dear Worried Walter,
Getting back Promo results is often a scary experience for everyone. Grades aren’t just numbers on a page—they show us how much we’ve actually learned and understood from the school year. Afterwards, we have to process what our grades show about our academic progress, recalibrate our expectations of ourselves and figure out what we have to do next to improve.
Your question resonates with the countless individuals who have found themselves struggling to strike a balance between academic performance and emotional well-being. The struggle to maintain a positive outlook in the face of challenging grades is a common one for many of us going through this educational journey.
Grades often carry a weight that extends far beyond the classroom. The impact of academic performance on our emotional state can be profound—influencing our self-esteem, confidence, and even our sense of identity. Be it from our teachers, parents, or ourselves, expectations to perform well are constantly weighing on us, and when we fail to meet these expectations, the sense of dread that follows makes it undeniably hard to keep our heads up.
Not to mention the competitive and academically-driven environment we live in, it is sometimes inevitable that we end up comparing ourselves to our friends, and wondering if they can do it, why can’t I? Such worries may often manifest in self-doubt, questioning one’s worth, and feeling stuck or helpless.
No matter how many times someone tells you—exams are just a checkpoint!—it does nothing to resolve these negative emotions. It is therefore essential to acknowledge and explore the complex interplay between grades and our mental health.
You’ve already taken the first step in identifying what you’re struggling with—adopting a positive mindset. It’s normal to struggle in JC. Everything is new, intense and difficult all at the same time. In the face of all these challenges, it’s much easier said than done to adopt a growth mindset. Let’s navigate this storm of grades with optimism and find a path toward positivity together!
- Identify negative thoughts and write them down
The first step to adopting a positive mindset is to actively identify the negative thoughts you are having. When we’re used to unconsciously putting ourselves down or being overly pessimistic, it may be difficult to tell which thoughts are sending us into an overblown spiral of negativity.
The next time you feel bad about your grades, think: How justified are my worries? Write down these thoughts, and rewrite them in this manner: I am worried about this because… but I can do…to improve.
Thoughts in our head always seem more serious and scary than when we write them out on paper. Actively restructuring these thoughts to consciously recognise your emotions and wants, as well as planning ways to improve on the aspects of your grades you aren’t satisfied with, will help you to mitigate the panic and anxiety that come with them.
- Practise positive self-talk—focus on the good things
In the midst of academic pressures, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of self-doubt. Counteract this by intentionally acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small. Instead of dwelling on perceived shortcomings, consciously shift your focus to the positive aspects of your efforts. Celebrate the exam questions you answered correctly, the lessons you’ve learned, and the progress you’ve made.
If you’ve managed to improve by a few marks from a previous exam, praise yourself for it! If you found a way to study more efficiently this time, give yourself a pat on the back! Even if the grade is not ideal, give yourself small compliments and encouragement—I may not have gotten the score I wanted, but I did do well in… These can give you a source of strength to keep going, keep trying, and not beat yourself up for a mistake.
Be more compassionate to yourself – give yourself positive affirmations. Especially when you feel your self-critical voice clouding your head, try and break away and instead treat yourself with more patience and kindness. You can even keep a self-talk journal to help you ground yourself. Write down things that made you feel bad (getting a U for a subject etc.), and for every event, practise processing it more mindfully, and write down some words of encouragement (I can work towards improving next time)!
By reframing negative thoughts and emphasising the positive aspects of your academic journey, you can create a more supportive mental environment. Shifting your internal dialogue to focus on your strengths can significantly impact your overall outlook.
- Identify areas to change
Just as a navigator adjusts course based on changing winds, identify specific areas in your studying journey that you think could use some work. Take a moment to reflect. What parts of your academic routine are not working out for you? It could be your study habits, time management, or learning strategies. Pinpointing these areas isn’t about pointing fingers; it’s about finding little tweaks that can make a big difference.
Are there aspects of your studying routine you can modify to create a more positive learning experience? Sometimes, a small change in approach can yield significant improvements. Whether it impacts your motivation and enjoyment in studying, or your ability to absorb information, taking a step out of your comfort zone can produce positive effects.
This can not only help you in the next round of exams, it can also give you something to work towards instead of just wallowing in your disappointment. By identifying areas for adjustment, you empower yourself to actively steer toward a more positive academic trajectory.
- Set goals and don’t see achieving them as an end point
Goals are essential in academic pursuits, but viewing them as continuous milestones rather than final destinations is crucial. Try and think of each achieved goal as a step up on a mountain that marks your educational journey.
How exactly can you go about this? Firstly, set realistic, attainable goals. If your current grade is a ‘D’, it may seem far too daunting to aim for an ‘A’ right off the bat. Instead, you could write down a goal like “Bring my grade up by one band”. Academic goals don’t always have to be about the grade either, it could also be about the process, something along the lines of “Attempt more extra practices given”, or anything else you may want to achieve.
If in doubt, you can also think about the areas for change you identified in the previous section, and set your goals around making those changes happen and sustaining them.
Secondly, work towards those goals! While it may be tough in the beginning, remind yourself of the bigger picture—as you successfully achieve more and more goals, you are moving closer and closer to the top of the mountain, where gratification, rest and relaxation await. Once you are able to get the ball rolling, you may find that the rest of the work becomes less difficult to handle.
Lastly, embrace the satisfaction of accomplishments while recognizing that learning is an ongoing process. Relish in the progress you make, while understanding that there’s always room for growth and new aspirations. In doing this, you are giving yourself a sense of hope, which will undoubtedly help in maintaining a positive perspective.
- Reward yourself appropriately
It may seem counterintuitive to reward yourself when you don’t feel like you’ve achieved your goals (you need time to learn how to improve your studying methods and understand the content, after all), but it’s important to keep yourself motivated. When you feel like there is a purpose in what you’re doing, you’re more likely to keep going and achieve your goals.
Set small checkpoints for yourself so you can consistently improve. Finishing notes for a chapter of a subject you’re struggling in, memorising them, completing a practice paper on time—these are all slow and steady steps in the right direction, and you should feel good about that.
Whether it be a facial mask, your favourite bubble tea or going for a run (whatever floats your boat!), small rewards can give you the serotonin boost you need to complete your next goal. Try not to immerse yourself in activities you know are difficult to tear yourself away from, like watching Youtube or Instagram Reels.
Actively trying to be positive and improving yourself is tiring, and since your goal of attaining your goals is long-term, you’ll burn out quickly without motivation.
Progress is better than no progress. Sometimes, it will feel like you’re going backwards instead of forwards, but even if you’re not happy with what you’ve completed, reward yourself for what you have done. You have tried the best you knew how to, and for that, you deserve a pat on the back. You’ll keep trying harder and do better next time.
- Surround yourself with positive people
Your environment will play a huge role in framing your mindset in general, not just towards grades. We naturally form echo chambers with the perspectives of the people around us. If your friends often talk about their grades, compare them with one another and use grades as a basis to judge other people, perhaps it’s best for you to take some distance from them.
Befriend people who have more healthy attitudes towards grades and are willing to support you in achieving your goals. The more time you spend with them, the more you can understand and learn about other practices they have to maintain a positive outlook on their grades.
We hope we’ve been able to help you with your concerns. Grades aren’t the end of the road, just a representation of your understanding of a subject at that moment in time. They don’t define you as a person, and we hope you won’t measure your self-worth with them.
In fact, you’re actively working towards improving yourself, and for that, you should be proud.
Good luck!
Sincerely,
Aunt Agony and Uncle Upset
If you need anyone to talk to about any issues you might be facing, do drop by My Rest Space near Marymount gate and talk to one of our peer helpers! We’re open on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 3 – 5 p.m, and Wednesday 11.00 a.m. – 1.00 p.m. If you would like to meet a peer helper on a regular basis, do email us a request at rafflesinstitutionphp@gmail.com or fill in our request form at our website https://rafflesinstitution5.wixsite.com/rafflespeerhelpers
