By Georgia Ong (26S03O) 

If you have even the slightest inkling of what K-Pop is, you’ve probably heard the name Mark Lee. And you’ve probably heard the news that after 10 years of idol life, he’s parting ways with both his agency, SM Entertainment, and his group, NCT. 

At the tender age of 26, he is walking away from what defined over half his life—he joined the company in 2012 and debuted in 2016 at the young age of 16. Throughout his career, he established himself as a key member of NCT, juggling activities between his subunits NCT 127 and NCT Dream. 

The overworked golden child, Mark was beloved by both his agency and fans. He was the leader of NCT Dream and face of NCT; many thought that he would be one of the members most likely to re-sign with SM during contract renewals. 

No one expected him to leave his company, let alone the group entirely.

Idols not renewing their contracts isn’t an uncommon thing; they may want to pursue for themselves better opportunities which other agencies can help them with. It is, however, uncommon for idols to completely depart from their groups upon contract completion. SM Entertainment, Mark’s former agency, is especially well-known for having many idols no longer signed to them but still a part of their groups, coming back for group promotional activities and comebacks. 

Mark’s unconventional decision to make a clean break from his career signalled a huge turning point in his life—it was time for him to move on. 

Learning to move on is inescapable. At every step of the road, life hurls a curveball at you, shaking up your realities. It feels like the world you once knew is crumbling at your feet; you’ve got to let go. 

Thing is? It’s hard to move on. Hard to get over a failed relationship, hard to step away from a position that drains you more than it fulfills you, hard to step away from a dream that you once clung to so, so tightly. Society reinforces this, telling us that it is okay to mourn relationships, telling us that hard work is the “be-all and end-all” and can conquer all hurt, telling us that we should never give up and always fight for our dreams. 

That isn’t what it’s always supposed to be. Indeed, moving on is hard, but if we just stick to the status quo and follow society’s preachings, we’re never going to be free. Being able to move on means learning how to break away from what society’s been pushing you down with. 

My Chemical Romance: I’m Not Okay (I Promise) 

Moving on starts with the recognition that “something’s not right”. Maybe being reminded of it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, or maybe you’ve sat on the floor of your room crying because someone texted you about it—it’s not healthy to be anguishing over something that once brought you joy. 

Or maybe, you’re tired. It’s easy to think that this is the nature of life, that being tired equals being fulfilled equals good for you, but moving on requires us to become consciously aware that we, perhaps, are a little too drained. 

Sure, the familiarity of throwing ourselves into whatever we’re doing brings stability, but if we’re giving more than we’re gaining, perhaps there’s something wrong. Your gut feeling is important here: the gut never lies. Intuition can give us retrospect into the dilemma: think of all the crashouts you’ve had over it, the times where you’ve dreamed about leaving more than staying, count the smiles you’ve faked in the name of “peace”. 

The clique, overused term goes: it’s okay not to be okay. And I promise you? That’s totally fine. 

KiiiKiii: I Do Me

Having self-awareness is one thing. Being able to let go is a whole other ball game. In life, we don’t just live for ourselves; there are so many other people who are affected and factored into our decisions. Prioritising one’s own best interests’ isn’t that easy. 

Let’s think about the case of Mark: Leader of NCT Dream, face of the entire NCT brand. All the Dream boys looked up to him as leader; fans of the unit would know how much the boys first went through when Mark first left NCT Dream in 2018 as part of the original graduation system. 

His return to the unit in 2020 was a pivotal moment in the group’s trajectory, showing both the company and fans alike the power all 7 members of Dream had together. People believed 7Dream was here to stay for good, until Mark’s unexpected departure left the other 6 members alone again. 

Leaving behind years of friendship for his own interests must have been hard. It could have been so simple for Mark to just renew his contract, remain with his team, and live in a fantasy utopia where everyone didn’t have to suffer the heartbreaking loss of his departure once again. 

Instead he chose to put himself first. After years of overwork, burn out and health concerns, he chose to step away from the spotlight, away from his sworn-brothers, for a future he saw for himself. 

When things become too toxic, we often sideline ourselves for the “collective good”, willingly sacrificing our needs and wants. Over time, this can breed lament and dissatisfaction, which ultimately harms everyone. We need to realise that it’s okay to say “no” when things no longer align with our values, rejecting the potential hope that clinging on may bring. 

In prioritising ourselves, it is important for us to communicate openly with others—not ranting to others about our situation and seeking validation, but asking for honesty and genuine advice. Of course, everything should be taken with a pinch of salt, because what’s most important is that you chose to do yourself right—you’re the one who controls your life. 

Les Miserables: I Dreamed A Dream 

On the topic of broken dreams, it is crucial that we take into account that our brains are still developing. We are just reaching adulthood, barely a quarter through our life: what we wanted for ourselves 3 years ago may be completely different from what we wanted a year ago, what we dream of now, and what we will envision for ourselves in the future. 

Teenagehood is a volatile period of life: on top of a competitive school system where we have to juggle both academics and portfolio-building, we also have to navigate through the many facets of growing up, like ambitions, friendships, and relationships. One constant in your life now may disappear a month from now—there’s no telling what will happen. 

Dreams change and dreams die, and being bitterly hung up over the heartbreak of past potential will only leave us wallowing in our misery. Delusion is a false god, building you towers out of sand that the reality of life crushes within seconds. Caught up in all the internal lament, it is very easy to lose yourself. 

The thing about dreaming is that while dreams change and die, dreams also rise again. Being able to move on from a past dream means making room for a fresh hope. You may have dreamed a dream, but out of the nightmare, you will dream again. 

Lizzy McAlpine: Nothing / Sad N Stuff  

So you say you’ve going to move on. Are you really? 

Like all tough things in life, moving on takes time. It’s not linear. It brings all those weird emotions everyone hates—anxiety, confusion, guilt. 

Guilt is the worst one. The idea of “choosing oneself” just doesn’t feel right. You redeliberate your decision to let go, feeling the innate desire to just suck it up and push on, like what you’ve always been doing. 

Here, it’s just too tempting to just take your melancholic self and put it back where it was always meant to be, pretending you didn’t hate the place, pretending everything was fine. 

You want closure. The thing is, closure doesn’t always come. 

While you sometimes may be lucky enough to be able to set yourself a “deadline” to leave, tying up loose ends before walking away with a quiet resolution in your heart, life more often than not doesn’t let you do so. The action of moving on can trickle in quietly, but it also can come completely out of left field and leave you in stunned silence.  

Truly moving on means embracing the loud silence that comes with the inevitable creeping-in of an end. It’s a hard pill to swallow. A void left in the crevices of your heart that, at this point in time, feels impossible to be filled. 

It all feels like nothing, but you will be whole again. For now, all that’s left to do is to grieve, even if it’s sad n stuff. 

Oasis: Don’t Look Back in Anger 

Now you’re moving on. But your heart is still filled with bitterness and hatred; regret of leaving and throwing it all away eating you up. 

Regret’s a funny thing. What exactly did you regret? All the times you were treated badly? All the times you questioned your worth? All the times it felt like the world was against you? 

It’s easy for your mind to trick you during healing. You think of the happy times and potential “could-have-beens”, but shield yourself from all the times that drove you to despair. The reality that you wanted, but could never have. 

Give yourself respect. Don’t let your anguish morph into anger while watching everyone move on as if you were never there. Keep your head held high in confidence about your decision. But most importantly, don’t look back. 

NCT Dream: Life Is Still Going On 

Let there be light. It’s time for you to rediscover the joy of living. Go on a run or touch some grass! Drink some matcha or adopt a cat! Throw yourself into the warmth of a friend’s embrace; they’ve always got your back. The world’s at your feet, and it’s waiting for you to reclaim the life you were always meant to have. 

Of course, recovery isn’t linear, and there will be periods where you redeliberate your choices. It’s okay to grieve about everything that happened, but make sure you have a support system to always pick you up.

After all, life is still going on, and it’s waiting for you to come along with it.