Humour

Commentary, Humour, School Life

Good Hard Launches are Not That Hard
Reading Time: 5 minutes

By Betty Ding (25A01B)

Like every other year, this year’s Valentine’s Day has been utterly disappointing. The predictable Instagram stories clog your feed: endless flower pictures, the oh-so-suspenseful soft launches (which, according to some, should qualify as an art form), or even those that clearly feature someone new – the rare “hard launches”. The ones that scream “Hey, me and someone are #together now.” Tame, lame, and all the same. Surely there is room for more passion, more energy, more footwork?

Love was in the air, and it’s time to pull out the air purifier to gain clarity and reflect – what makes a show stopping hard launch? We at Raffles Press have come up with some comprehensive, and (debatably) feasible solutions for you to really wow that special someone. You’ll have to wait till next year though, but it’s okay: just enough time to gather supplies.

Without further ado, here’s how you can make your bombastic love declaration bigger, bolder, and better:

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Food Reviews, Humour, Opinion, Raffles Reviews, Rank It!

Hole-y Goodness or Just Okay?: A Mister Donut Review
Reading Time: 9 minutes

By Arshia Mahajan (25S06R), Betty Ding (25A01B), Foo Le Xuan Shanice (25S03A) and Isaac Chan (25A01B) 

“Uh, can we just have one of each?”

4 writers, 23 donuts, a $69 bill, and a lot of high expectations. What could possibly go wrong? 

Humbly located at level 2 of Junction 8 is the home to a whole display of sugar-coated dreams. As the Japanese donut brand Mister Donut’s first permanent store in Singapore, when this outlet first opened in 2023, queues often snaked around the whole level — and who can blame these avid donut-enjoyers? From “Chocolate” to “Strawberry Pon De Ring”, Mister Donut holds the promise to a world of bliss once hidden on the faraway shores of Japan. 

But are these donuts really as sweet as they sound, or just another overpriced excuse for fried dough? Follow us as we delve into all 23 flavours Mister Donut, battling food coma, sugar rush, and imminent diabetes to find out which donut comes out on top.

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Aunt Agony and Uncle Upset, Commentary, Humour, School Life

Aunt Agony and Uncle Upset: To Pee or Not To Pee 
Reading Time: 6 minutes

By Leo Kaiyan (25S06R, Peer Helper), Meryl Lim (25S05A), Qiu Bixin (25A01A)

Your resident Aunties and Uncles are back with our Ask Aunt Agony and Uncle Upset column, this time as a collaboration between Raffles Press and the Peer Helpers’ Programme (PHP)! Ever wanted to rant about that someone you just can’t stand? Overwhelmed with too many feelings? Submit your confessions to https://tinyurl.com/RIAAUU and we’ll give them our best shot. This column will be published at the end of every month.

“RI toilets give me depression. I feel sad every time I enter and come out even sadder. It’s a very miserable place to pee.

Distressed Dixie
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Commentary, Humour, Opinion, Rank It!

Let’s Be Rail: A Definitive Ranking of the MRT Lines
Reading Time: 9 minutes

By Valerie Ng (25S06N)

6 lines, 140 stations, 200 kilometres. The Mass Rapid Transport (MRT) system in Singapore is, undoubtedly, the most economic way to get around. It offers speed and efficiency – hence “rapid” – with a minimal amount of effort, and boasts great interconnectivity all throughout the country (if you think about it, every MRT line has at least 1 interchange for every other line). 

According to the Land Transport Authority (LTA), the system has over 3 million daily riders – hence “mass” – serving as nothing less than a confirmation that the MRT proves integral to our lives in Singapore. 

After letting the MRT take me everywhere these past 17 years, I have come up with a ranking of the MRT lines. I hesitate to say that the list is up for contention, but I suppose this is, somewhat, a matter of “to each, their own”. 

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