Humour

Humour, School Life

How to Respond to Soft/Hard Launches
Reading Time: 6 minutes

By Gladys Koh (26A01B), Irene Eva Thomas (26A01B), Tok Kai Xue (26A01B)

Yet another Valentine’s Day has arrived. It seems like Cupid’s arrow has struck everyone but you. Soft launch after soft launch after soft launch, and then just for emotional damage, some more hard launches for good measure. 

Instant jealousy is natural— it’s your body’s way of indicating that something is deeply unsettling to you. In this case, all couples. Jealousy, however, is passive, and participation in Valentine’s Day should not be restricted to just couples.

While there are no lectures for responding to a soft or hard launch, it would be irresponsible to face Valentine’s Day unprepared. Thus, for your consideration, Raffles Press presents an entirely necessary guide on how to respond when confronted with yet another relationship launch. 

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Features, Guides, Humour, School Life

How to Dress to Impress
Reading Time: 3 minutes

By Michelle Lee (26S07A)

It’s that time of the year again! Get ready for the debut of couples’ matching Crocs Jibbitz, Italian charm bracelets, and a mirror selfie at Haji Lane set to a Daniel Caesar song… 

Are you sick of the February 14th phenomenon, but you also kinda want to join them? Say no more. This is your scientifically proven, foolproof guide on how you can dress to impress. Or don’t. (And take your mirror selfie at Haji Lane alone). 

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Humour, School Life

Confessions of a Late-a-holic
Reading Time: 4 minutes

By Tara Teo (26A01D)

Listen up. This is for the has beens. The failures. The ones whose classmates clap when they come to school on time. This is no ordinary race plan, but then again, you’re no ordinary Rafflesian. Raffles Press has come prepared to equip even the most hopeless of students with 4 simple steps to make it to morning assembly in time. 

I guarantee you, if you put your all into this sprint from the Marymount gate to the parade square, you’ll outrun time itself. Slap yourself awake, take a deep breath, flex all 10 fingers and all 10 toes— you’re going to need them. Run, Sons of Singapore, run.

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Features, Go Where?, Humour, Multimedia, Nature Features, Raffles Reviews, Videos

Where To Touch Grass
Reading Time: < 1 minute

By Tok Kai Xue (26A01B)

As the September holidays arrive, many of us are cooped up at home to lock in. But resting your mind is equally important, and what better way to recharge than by reconnecting with nature?

If you’re new to touching grass, watch this video for a list of parks and trails to check out!

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Commentary, Humour, School Life

No Rest for the Press
Reading Time: 10 minutes

By Lerraine Neo (26A01A) and Koh Shin Robbie (26A01A)

Picture this: It’s the June holidays, and despite being on vacation, you’re staying up to finish some work. You glance up at the window, expecting to be greeted by the blinking lights of streetlamps and billboards, only to see… sunlight? 

Oh. It’s probably time to go to sleep. 

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