By Sonia Chang (26A01A) and Shamitrra D/O Aruchunan (26S03P, peer helper)

“I feel that some of my classmates are not willing to share their notes or academic preparation with me, and I know it’s not an obligation but I would find it so much more helpful if they were more generous. What should I do?”

~ Bothered Ben

Dear Bothered Ben, 

We understand how you feel. In an extremely competitive environment like RI, where many students are striving towards the same goal of a perfect RP score, it’s easy for academic collaboration to give way to competition. That could be why your friends are unwilling to share their notes, for fear of their “competition” getting ahead. The reluctance you’re seeing from your classmates to share notes or study strategies is most likely not personal. Rather, it’s a reflection of the fear that helping others might mean falling behind themselves.

Still, it’s natural to want support from your peers, and completely valid to feel disheartened when you don’t receive it. Wanting to learn from your friends or asking for their notes doesn’t make you lazy or demanding. On the contrary, it shows initiative and a desire to grow. Please don’t beat yourself up for seeking help. 

Offer them your notes and tips 

One way to navigate this situation is to initiate generosity yourself. Your peers may be hesitant to share because they assume – perhaps wrongly – that you’re asking to take without giving. So, you can start by offering your own notes or revision tips, especially for subjects you’re stronger at. Perhaps you can suggest a mutual exchange! By showing that you’re willing to give, you help dispel any fear that you’re freeloading and create a foundation of trust that can pave the way for more collaboration in the future. This approach makes others more likely to reciprocate – people are naturally more inclined to help those who’ve helped them. Be the kind of peer you wish others were to you.

If making extra notes feels like too much work, there are other ways to share and support each other. Perhaps you can consider forming a small study group with classmates. You can make shared folders, divide up topics, and pool your resources together. This way, everyone contributes something, and no one feels like they’re giving more than they’re receiving. It’s less pressure on any one person and a far more sustainable, win-win model for everyone involved.

Talk to them about it 

Sometimes, talking it out is really the solution. 

If these are friends you care about, don’t let this issue fester and risk damaging the relationship. Instead, speak to them honestly – share how you feel, why you’re asking for help, and assure them that you’re not trying to take advantage of them. More often than not, people are willing to listen and appreciate being given the chance to explain their side too. Maybe they’ve had bad experiences in the past with being freeloaded on, or they’re simply overwhelmed themselves. Try not to assume malice. 

By opening the door to honest conversation, you make room for clarity and connection – and often, these misunderstandings can become moments that strengthen friendships rather than strain them. Do not let issues continue to bottle up and eventually lead to frustrations or tensions in a friendship. 

When all else fails, find alternative resources 

Browsing through the internet, with a simple “H2 chemistry notes” in the search bar, you’ll be able to access a plethora of notes that will be helpful for you, from seniors’ notes to other schools’ resources! Websites like Holy Grail are highly accessible and very helpful! 

Conclusion 

At the end of the day, remember that you’re not alone. Many students go through what you’re experiencing — feeling left out, unsupported, or stuck. But there are ways forward. Whether it’s by extending kindness first, opening up a heartfelt conversation, or seeking help beyond your immediate circle, you have tools at your disposal. And most importantly, know that asking for help is not a flaw. It’s a sign of courage, humility, and a real desire to improve. You got this!