By Cayla Goh (25A01B), Meryl Lim (25S05A)

Maybe if I were someone else, I’d be happier. 

Maybe if I had taken another subject combination, I wouldn’t be so miserable. Maybe if I had made more friends, maybe if I had studied harder for Promos, maybe if I had tried out for that leadership position years ago, I would be better off now. 

Maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t have come to RI at all.

Not really. 

I’ve spent my life lost in wishful thinking: thinking too much about the what ifs and the what could’ve beens. There’s something so alluring about the other side – it’s deliciously tempting to let myself slip into daydreams where I step into a new life with new choices, better choices.  

If I had taken Chemistry, would I be happier than if I was writing about the symbolism of gloves and rings in The Changeling? Would I be happier memorising facts about alkanes, rather than an essay paper so fluid I can’t even hunt the questions down?                                                  

If I had taken ELL, wouldn’t I be much happier than I am figuring out the acceleration of a car going up a 40 degree inclined slope? Wouldn’t my struggles feel lighter? 

But that’s the problem, isn’t it?

Many of us like to think about how our lives would be improved if we had made different choices, or were under different circumstances; but how do you truly know it’ll be better if you haven’t gone through it? 

It’s precisely because we haven’t gone through the trials and tribulations of that “desired” path that we romanticise it so much. In all our daydreams, we indulge ourselves in snippets of imagined benefits, crafted from a mind detached from the true reality of those choices. 

Cow (people) in a high-st(e)aks environment

You can say it’s a form of escapism, a safe mental space — an oasis of sorts. Alas, it is but a mirage. 

Regrets and what-ifs can chain you down to the past, shackling you to unattainable fantasies and a version of you that simply doesn’t exist in the present. After all, a time machine hasn’t been invented (yet), and no one can return to the past to change its outcome.

Coconut – Cowcownut, if you will. 

You exist in this present, in this context, for a reason, and for all the choices you and millions of others have made before you.  

Be kind to yourself – making peace with your past decisions makes things easier for now-you and future-you. Even if you can’t reverse the choices you made in the past, what you can do is make sure they don’t dictate your future as well. At some point, mulling over these events may just cause moo-re stress, hindering your ability to enjoy and excel in the present. 

But regret doesn’t have to be a shackle — it can also be a key to motivation too.

Whether it means not repeating the same mistake again, or choosing something that better fits you, regret may just show that you recognise that you can do better for yourself. What better time is there to realise it than now? It’s always good to have some sense of self-realisation, and the earlier it is the better. 

Even so, it’s good to recognise that even if this isn’t the path you would’ve chosen at first, there’s still goodness in it too. Your life is a board of puzzle pieces – each choice that you’ve made slots a new piece into this web of connections. 

It’s in this precious, precarious balance that you’ve found your close friends, stumbled upon your favourite restaurant, made memories of you laughing so hard into the night that your ribs hurt. There were millions of ways that you could’ve chosen, but all the decisions that you’ve made have led you here. Here doesn’t need to be a reminder of all the gaping losses and what-ifs, but of the puzzle pieces you have now. 

Don’t discount your good memories. Think about all the good memories you’ve made because of the choices you’ve made too. 

Moo-ving forward…

What is your grass? 

Everyone has their own grass – their own path, their own destiny (if you believe in that). Whether you believe in karmic forces or divine intervention, what matters now is the You in the present. So what if mercury is in retrograde right now? The world will continue spinning, and this too shall pass.  

Without you realising it, others might want to have the same patch of grass that you’re grazing right now. In this seemingly never ending rat-race, regrets may mix closely with comparison, turning into an ugly chain around your neck. Even if you feel like the decisions that you’ve made have graded you inferior, there’s no better time than now to realise that you are enough as you are. 

Choose, and then make your decision right. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have come to RI. Maybe, just maybe.  

But my choices have led me here today, and I am the person I am today because of it.

Is the grass greener on the other side? Well… 

Cows (people) always want what they can’t/don’t have 

The grass always looks better on the other side, but that doesn’t mean it’ll taste better.

So live in the present and moo-ve towards the future – the grass is yours for the grazing.