By Vera Heng Shi Ning (24S03R)

If you’ve been on social media recently, you might have seen the ironic romanticisation of virtually everything with ribbons and bows, taking place in the most random forms—from salt packets to biceps and resignation letters—over the song “Let the Light In” by Lana Del Rey. 

From ballet flats to babydoll tops, these dainty elements embody what defines the hyper-feminine trend of the coquette aesthetic. The coquette trend dates back as early as the early 2010s, taking inspiration from the Japanese lolita aesthetic and subculture that could be found all over the major social media platforms back then, such as Tumblr and Pinterest.

Unlike its original French meaning: “a woman who flirts”, the internet has added its own twist and meaning to the trend, detaching the term from its original definition. The modern interpretation of “coquette” celebrates the “girly” side of dressing, bringing back florals and soft pinks, ribbons and plush rabbits, and anything that symbolises delicate and soft femininity.

With that being said, the dainty aesthetic could perhaps be seen as encouraging young girls to dress innocently and femininely, which contrast the traits that the “strong, independent woman” might be fighting for. Beyond the bows, the resurgence of the 2010 Tumblr coquette trend extends past its aesthetics, stirring greater interpretations and controversy: is the trend subtly encouraging girls to succumb to internalised misogyny? 

A point to note is that the coquette aesthetic does bear many similarities to what is considered the mainstream and traditional impression of being a “girly-girl”. Girls who carry “feminine energy” are often conventionally attractive, and men who find looks to be an important attribute will be drawn to a woman who embodies this.

Yet, for the longest time, women around the world have been pushing for our rights on deciding our own aesthetic preferences, rather than appealing to the male gaze. It is no wonder that the trend could come off as a threat to what we have been advocating all this while.

While that holds some truth, rejecting one’s femininity can be just as harmful. Women can embrace their feminine side without having the approval or attention of others in the picture, and pressuring a woman to be less feminine is equally as “anti-feminist” as pressuring one to be more feminine. 

Like most girls, I grew up developing avoidance towards the colour pink, especially in the later years of my childhood. Having heard that pink was “too girly”, I internalised the idea that it was a colour that I should distance myself from. Looking back, my love-hate relationship towards the colour was stemmed from none other than the subconscious prejudice ingrained in me, almost as though there was something wrong with being perceived as feminine. 

Feminism may give the illusion of a false dichotomy—that embracing our masculine traits is the only way to prove that we are at a level playing field as our male counterparts. However, feminism at its core supports women’s freedom and choice to dress as they please, and that the way a woman chooses to dress should not be tied to her identity.

Although feminists of past and present have fought for women wearing pants, suits and ties being a social norm, it does not translate to forcing “feminine” women to put on a false front of being less “girly“ and retreating from their personal preferences. 

Iconic female characters from films such as Mean Girls and Barbie also contribute to the aesthetic’s redemption of girlhood. Notably in the character, Elle Woods, of Legally Blonde embraces her femininity without compromising intellect by showing up to court as a lawyer in her signature pink outfits.

What the trend does is paint a new narrative to girlhood, telling a story which transforms internalised misogyny into the reclamation of feminine traits. The heart of the aesthetic brings back a sense of nostalgia, allowing girls to form deeper reconnections with their younger selves, who once actively dissociated themselves from the mainstream stereotypes.

Redefining what strength in femininity looks like diminishes the outdated idea that for women to be held to the same ability as a man, she must abandon all means of appearing “girly.” 

At the end of the day, there is no right way to be feminine and girls can express themselves however they please, whether in bows or buzzcuts. We have to break away from rigid stereotypes and embrace the notion that femininity can take on countless forms!